Is there anyone out there who gives a you-know-what that the most overhyped, untalented pro wrestler in history (otherwise known as the Ultimate Warrior) looks like he’s ready to return to the ring? Word has it he will be working in Spain, of all places, and has been working with Rob Van Dam to prepare for his comeback. Mr. Mal wouldn’t walk across the street to see this man perform, let alone tune in to a TV show just because he was scheduled to be a part of it, but, the pro wrestling world does not rise and set simply because the evil eye says it to be so (as tragic as that might be).

My question to you, my fine readers, is this: Does the Ultimate Warrior possibly signing with TNA make you salivate at the mere mention? Would it get you to watch? Or, are you like Mal, and remember this malcontent from his WCW days where, frankly, he was an outright embarassment to the industry both with his in-ring “work” and backstage shenanigans. Perhaps you fondly remember him in the WWF? Are you an Ultimate Warrior fan? Or not? Let me know. Drop me your comments and let chat about it. Thanks for visiting pro wrestling’s most-opinionated and fastest-growing site — WrestlersRamblings.com!

- Mr. Mal

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Money in the Bank Ladder Match
WWE United States Champion MVP vs. WWE Tag Team Champion JOHN MORRISON vs.WWE Intercontinental Champion CHRIS JERICHO vs. CM PUNK vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CARLITO VS. MR. KENNEDY
As I said in the column where I previewed this match from all sides, I don’t think the title holders in this match are likely to come up with the briefcase, although it would be a nice rub to Jericho to help his comeback gain some much needed steam. I would’ve thought MVP dropping the US title would’ve been the clear cut simple answer to the ladder match, as he is, at this time, the most ready new fresh face to take a world title leap of faith. Now, with Jeff Hardy’s folly, MVP still holding gold, and probably walking in to a feud with Matt Hardy, possibly as early as this match, the obvious choice now is CM Punk. I don’t think Benjamin is ready for the next step, and Carlito and Kennedy are plain fillers for the match, end of story. It’s down to, as far as I can see, a three way contest between Jericho, MVP, and Punk. Out of the three, the one man who can handle the rub of a world title contest, bar none, is Jericho. I’ll pick him, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see Punk slip through.
WINNER: Chris Jericho
ECW Championship Match
CHAVO GUERRERO vs. Winner of the 24 Man Battle Royal
I’m picking Kofi Kingston to win the battle royale, but the bottom line here is, Chavo is going to retain. He’ll either fight Kingston, and win or lose controversially, or win a clean match with someone else. I would think it’s Kingston, because it’s a new fresh face in ECW challenging for the belt. He really impressed me when I saw him for a full match on Smackdown this past week. Bottom line, I don’t think the title changes hands here. Not yet.
WINNER: Chavo Guerrero

Career Threatening Match
RIC FLAIR vs. SHAWN MICHAELS
Whether the angle is wrong or right can be detailed until we’re blue in the face, and dead from lack of oxygen, it’s been done, and it’s going to go down this way. I had a really sick idea in my head. Flair becomes the surprise eighth entrant in money in the bank, and then wins that match, turns around, and challenges the winner of the WWE title match after the match is over, and wins that match, and then retires, going iron man like Triple H did back at No Mercy, and then the next night on Raw, surrenders the title to McMahon and says I’m done. I went out on top, as world champion, and nobody can stop me from that. Whoo!

Now, that was the crazy idea, but let’s get back to reality. Flair and Michaels will have an amazing match. No question about it. With this much experience doing battle, it should be a story worth while for a long time to come. I hope the match lives up to the hype, because it’s getting a ton of it. I hope Flair goes out the way he wants. End of story. Michaels wins, but damnit, give Flair the recognition he deserves, and don’t let him go out a loser. Find a way to do that, WWE. It’s the right thing to do for someone who has been a foundation and a cornerstone for how big this company and this industry has become.
WINNER: Shawn Michaels

FLOYD “MONEY” MAYWEATHER vs. THE BIG SHOW
There is absolutely nothing you can say to me that will make me accept this match, or enjoy watching it. I want to see Show tear Mayweather apart, limb from limb, and it could happen, unless WWE finds a way to cotnrol the posse of the WBC Champion. I hear the rules are no holds barred, which will make the match more even at least, as Mayweather will get to use weapons to chop down the redwood tree. I also hear there’s some gigantic swerve in this match, and the only thing I can think of here is, whatever this swerve is, it’s liable to piss off every single hardcore wrestling fan on the planet. I hope Vince is happy with this mainstream press he’s getting with this match, because he’s losing his core audience, guys like me, and you, and the rest of the readers of this column, who, if I were to take a poll, I would guess 70-30 would not want to see this match take place period. Here’s the real funny part. In the background in all this, training Mayweather as to how to wrestle, is a former ROH stalwart. Matt Sydal, the guy who I think could re-invent the cruiserweight division in WWE, if they’re ever smart enough to bring him up, is training Mayweather. It’s funny how the biggest match in the card, and that’s the truth, this is the biggest invested match WWE has on this card, has an ROH twinge to it. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?
WINNER: Floyd Mayweather

World Heavyweight Championship
EDGE vs. THE UNDERTAKER
People can come out here and say this whole storyline is exactly what happened last year with the Wrestlemania build up to the Undertaker winning the world title only to lose it because of injury. I don’t care. Undertaker deserves a run at the title for one last time, and there’s no way on the face of God’s green earth that Vince McMahon is going to let this streak end. It’s too good. It’s too marketable. It’s too simple to take the carat off the diamond. Bottom line here is, this is the most predictable match on the card, as I believe we will have one title change, at least, come out of Wrestlemania, and that is a new World Heavyweight Champion.
WINNER: The Undertaker
WWE Championship
RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA vs. TRIPLE H
My heat says one way, my head says another. Unfortunately, here, my brain will overrule my heart. I think WWE would WANT to give the belt back to Cena, because Cena gave the program viewers, ones who hated and loved him, one way or another, but with Cena’s focus not totally on wrestling at the moment, spending most of the week in New Orleans with WWE Films, I doubt the brass of WWE would put the biggest prize in the company on the most marketable star they have, yet. Expect The Game to take the 12th step to the eventual breaking of Ric Flair’s 16 time world championship reign. Expect this reign as well, to last a little longer than a couple of hours, or less than the time of a pay per view show, ala No Mercy. Orton’s time is well done, he’s grown stale as champion in a big hurry, and as much as I would like to see the spinner belt back with its originator, it’s time to play The Game. It’ll get old, quick, this Game, but for now, its the right move for business.
I don’t suspect this match will be as emotionally charged as Benoit vs. The Game vs. HBK for the title back from Wrestlemania 20, but it should definitely be entertaining. It’ll be a true debate however, how long it will take, if The Game does win, before his heart grows black as night, which he is dying to do, and turn flow blown heel, again.
For now, Game On.
WINNER: Triple H

I think that’s it for now, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much for reading. Here are a couple of quick links before I go
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Pro’s from the Palace (#241) - Some rants, raves, views, WM picks & more…It’s been kind of tough to get some thoughts together to make a column, but some things have come down the pike in the last few days leading up to Wrestlemania 24, so let’s do some thoughts and tidbits, and then run down the card with picks. I missed the last pay per view, so I am all screwed up with my pay per view pick record from the blog, but we’ll worry about that down the road. For now, let’s try and make something out of not much, and try to make it as positive as possible, which may be tough.
When you sit back and try and take a look at Wrestlemania 24, there’s a few things that can be said, both positively and negatively. First, and foremost, the lack of title matches is abhorrent. Bottom line. Only 3 title matches is absurd. Next.
Putting a battle royale as the pre-match to Wrestlemania, and taking 24 guys chances away from appearing on the grand stage on pay per view is also abhorrent. Explain something to me. How come guys like Hardcore Holly and Kane, two guys who have been with the company for nearly a decade or more, are forced to compete in the PRE SHOW to Wrestlemania. I don’t give a damn, storyline or not, there should be some assemblance of damn seniority when it comes to booking this company, and to take that match and that chance away from those 24 men is just ridiculous. Sure, some of them are appearing in their first Wrestlemania, and it’s legitimate to take them off the big stage for now, and give them the experience, i.e., The Miz, Mark Henry, and others. Yeah, I know Henry’s done Mania before, but you, I think, get my point. But, to take the veterans who have paid the price with blood, sweat, tears, and broken bodies, and take their chance, their yearly chance to shine in front of the biggest crowd of the year is just wrong. We got a boxer in a match with major league press coverage where he could literally be hurt badly or killed, but men who have paid their dues and then some can’t get on the card. It’s truly a pathetic scene, if you ask me.

Couple of quick DVD notes. I picked up the new Triple H: King of Kings biopic DVD. Two words. Buy it. It’s terrific. It’s Triple H talking about his matches and his career, and then having the matches shown its entirety to correlate with the subject you just heard The Game speak of. It’s a similar way they worked it for the new Austin DVD, and its terrific. I think it’s an absolutely terrific format for these biopic DVDs, and it should be the basic format for the foreseeable future. If you want an example of what I’m not talking about from a format perspective only, another one I just bought was the Shawn Michaels story. It seemed to be more from the outside looking in, of other people talking about Shawn rather than Shawn talking about Shawn, and I found that kind of discouraging and condescending. I appreciated and respected the Triple H and Austin DVD packages a lot more because the words came from the mouths of the talents. It didn’t appear to be that way, AS MUCH, with the Michaels DVD, and that is a bone of contention of mine. I also bought the No Way Out DVD to check out the Chamber matches. I gotta say this, and I’ll put it in a new paragraph so people can read it.

Kudos to the Undertaker. For the beating he took in January at the Royal Rumble coming in at #1, and then taking the pounding in the Chamber when he came in first. It’s a testament to his physical ability and how good of shape he is in. I cannot believe he can still perform at that high a level so deep in to his career. It’s truly impressive.
I guess I’m not doing my job if I don’t comment on the status of Highlander Robbie McAllister, and the mistake he made by going to TNA, and sitting in the crowd. I respect the fact that McAllister is friends with the TNA talent, and quite frankly, he should’ve used his pull, said to TNA, I’m here to support your guys, gimmie a backstage seat, keep me out of the line of fire, and let me support your product. TNA should have the class to turn around and respect McAllister’s wishes, and do it, without trying to take advantage of it. But, in the year of who can we screw with lately, TNA sees McAllister in the crowd, POINTS HIM OUT ON CAMERA, under his real name, and puts him in a spot where he can lose his job, or something to that effect, depending on the whim of a madman named Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Last year watching Wrestlemania 23, and finding out that 24 is set to be in TNA’s backyard, I sort of feared something like this would happen. While I know that the wrestling business is cutthroat, and you should take advantage any chance you get, the fact remains is, the talents respect each other, and that should take precedence over any bulls**t backstage politics that the suits want to portray. Whether it’s Tommy Dreamer in Manhattan being called out by Brother “Don’t call me Bubba” Ray, or Robbie McAllister trying to see his friend Johnny Devine take on Alex Shelley, TNA ought to have taken the high class route, and say, WWE talent respect what we do, and that’s a bonus for us, if and when the talent drop from the roster, perhaps we can do some business. Instead, the Russo-esque tactics are taken, and money is going to be taken away from a talent who simply wanted to be entertained for an evening.
Pathetic.

I guess it’s time to go down the matches, so let’s see what transpires, shall we?
Quick note before I continue, I read a story that Hardcore Holly has a concussion, and has been pulled out of the pre show battle royale in favor of Paul London. I can’t confirm that, so I won’t put him in the roster as I type this, but it is something to think about as the card progresses come 6:30pm tomorrow night.
Ok, now to work.

Pre-Show 24 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal
Winner gets a shot at the ECW Heavyweight Title on the Pay Per View Card
World Tag Team Champions HARDCORE HOLLY & CODY RHODES,WWE Tag Team Champion THE MIZ, SNITSKY, MARK HENRY, THE GREAT KHALI, VAL VENIS, KOFI KINGSTON, JESSE & FESTUS, JIMMY WANG YANG, KANE, LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH, SHANNON MOORE, BRIAN KENDRICK, CHUCK PALUMBO, DEUCE ‘N DOMINO, ELIJAH BURKE, MATT STRIKER, TOMMY DREAMER, HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN, JAMIE NOBLE
First off, it surprises me of two people being left off here. A) Paul London, and B) Big Daddy V. London, I would bet, has some heat with the brass going back to the limo death angle, and that’s probably why he’s not going to get the prime spot, even on the pre show. V, I am not sure on this one. He’s always good for a battle royal scenario, and with his “handler” in the match, it’s only fitting to have the body guard protect the handler. It’s a bit of a surprise as far as I can see.

Obvious heart felt choice for me here is Kane. Kane wins this, and then goes to Mania and tears Chavo a new one, and gets a belt, even a belt that means as little as the ECW Belt. Unfortunately, when you say heart felt, it’s normally not the way the suits of WWE are going to think, so let’s try and re-vamp our thinking to suit what the suits will decide.

Trying to think like a booker, the choice I would say to give Chavo a good match would be, and you’re going to laugh, Kofi Kingston. He’s fresh, he’s new, and he has some momentum. He could give Chavo a run, and still keep Chavo at the top of the ECW ladder. I doubt you’d see any Smackdown guys come out of this one with the dupe and challenge Chavo, as I doubt that they would want to muddle the ECW title any more than its already been. It’d be nice to give Tommy Dreamer a rub, and even a title win at Wrestlemania, but I doubt seriously that WWE would consider that option. There’s always the Elijah Burke factor, as he has challenged Punk in the past for the belt, but I doubt you’d see him take the step to challenge Chavo, as he seemingly has disappeared off the radar of pushes within the brand and WWE as a whole. I think the logical choice here may be Kingston. He’s the fresh face, and he would bring a fresh look and feel to the ECW Championship, and anyone who I have seen in pro wrestling with a nickname that includes the word buzzsaw knows how to fight. I would think this case would be no different.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston

BunnyMania Match featuring Snoop Dogg & Kim Kardashian
ASHLEY & MARIA vs. MELINA & BETH PHOENIX
Snoop being involved here, I’ll live with, because he’s entertaining. Kim Kardashian has absolutely zero business being near WWE, and should be taken off television for the better part of the next hundred years. Now, getting back to the lecture at hand, who cares who wins this match. Is it going to be Maria entering a program with Beth for a title that is never defended? It is Candice’s turn? Well, it may have been until she re-broke her clavicle. (Get well, soon.) Now, it’s simply this. We have two well trained wrestlers on one end, and two playboy bunnies who have improved, but are not in the opponent’s league from a training perspective. What does that tell you? Maria & Ashley will figure out a way to get the win. More subtle promotion for Maria’s playboy cover with a win, rather than a loss.
WINNERS: Maria & Ashley
Side Note: And I have to give credit to my boy Sean at DOIWrestling.com for this idea, and consider it stolen. Santino Marella comes in to the ring to get involved in this match, and ends up getting bitch slapped by the jabroni beatin’, pie eatin’, trail blazin’, eyebrow raisin’, all around, smackin’ down, people’s champ, The Rock. Tell me you can’t see that happening, even though all reports say Rock is not going to appear on Sunday night. It would drive the crowd nuts, it sure as hell would boost up DVD buys for Wrestlemania come May 10th or so, when it’s released, and hell, it’s some beginning pub for the Rock biopic DVD due out in June. Can’t tell me its not a win win situation. Probably means WWE would never touch it, but hey, a man can dream, can’t he? Thanks for the idea, Sean.
Belfast Brawl
FINLAY vs. JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD
This match has the proponents to be the most bloody, and the most ridiculous. If it’s left up to JBL and Finlay, it’ll be a fight, a fight that will be bowling shoe ugly, but probably entertaining to watch. If Hornswoggle and Vinnie Mac become involved, which is a virtual certainty, then this match becomes muddled and worthless. Either which way, I would hope Finlay figures out a way to come out on top, so that maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to come out of this angle, and begin something new. However, I don’t think it’s going to happen.
WINNER: John Bradshaw Layfield
Truth be told, they’re going to try and get more mileage out of Finlay vs. JBL vs. Hornswoggle vs. Vince. I can see that happening. Makes me sick, but I can see it. I also think a JBL win at Wrestlemania means more to the overall product than a Fit Finlay win.

Smackdown vs. Raw Battle for Brand Supremacy
BATISTA vs. UMAGA
I guess I can respect that this match is going to be enjoyable to watch, but it’s just not the same. I expected Batista to beat MVP for the US title, and make this match ten times more valuable. Now, this is just the beginning of a match that will bring Umaga to Smackdown for some fresh opponents. Now, while that doesn’t bother me in the least bit, this match could have been so much more prestigious if you put a belt there, and there was a chance to do so, it was right there for the world to see. Now, it’s just a fight that will end “controversially”, and bring Umaga to Smackdown, not answering a single question, and basically making this some time and a segment on the grand stage of Wrestlemania without a sense of closure, and that, ladies and gentlemen, for this pay per view, is just plain pathetic.
No Contest

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