Mr. Mal casts the evil eye upon WWE Smackdown, ECW
Clicking and a flickin’, Mr. Mal spent Friday night watching both WWE Smackdown and ECW, with more than a few thoughts bouncing around under my hood during the proceedings. Below, enjoy some random Musings from Mal Occhio, gleamed from three-hours of pro wrestling replete with healthy doses of sports entertainment . . .
WWE SMACKDOWN! JULY 27, 2007
Show opens with Batista squashing Deuce, one-half of the Deuce-Domino tag team. For the life of me, Mr. Mal will never understand how having a top star demolish a tag team competitor makes anyone stronger. It doesn’t. No one expects the tag wrestler to win, and everyone knows the star will not lose. Supposedly advanced a storyline between Cherry (Deuce and Domino’s valet) and Batista, as the two make googly-eyes at each other. Next . . . an interview with the great Jamie Noble regarding his losing the cruiserweight title to Finlay’s former Little Bastard — Hornswaggle — at the Great American Bash. Having watched Noble in his ROH Ring of Honor days (as James Gibson) this guy deserves far better. Sure, he’s now acting as “producer” of the divison, but having to put over Hornswaggle is perhaps the ultimate indignity for a talented, talented in-ring performer . . . Michelle McCool pool package plays. Nice, but nothing we haven’t seen before. And believe me, she’s no Stacey Kiebler . . . Noble loses again to Hornswaggle by countout in a surprisingly-entertaining match. Noble is a true pro. Where this feud goes, however, is anybody’s guess . . . Chavo Guerrero squashs Eugene, who now comes to the ring dressed as a superhero. Good Lord. Does anybody care if they never see Eugene again? . . . Matt Hardy and Ric Flair beat Chris Masters and M.V.P. when Hardy hit the twist of fate on Masters. So much for his new push. Then again, Kane lost to just about everyone over the last year and yet — somehow — was magically declared the number one contender to Edge a few weeks back. Sometimes I think pro wrestling isn’t on the up-and-up . . . ahem . . . Mark Henry wins a genuine old fashioned squash, with opponent Joey Blaylock already in the ring for his introduction. He’s still a beast. The “Silverback” will be back in title contention soon enough. A monster heel who is finally making something of himself . . . Kane beats Dave Taylor. Good European uppercuts by Taylor, but Kane is being pushed again. Result? A quick job for Taylor, and that’s too bad . . . Jimmy Wang Yang and Torrie Wilson over Kenny Dykstra and Victoria. Nice to see the ever-talented Yang with some eye candy again (Mr. Mal misses Amy Zidian and those really small shorts) and it is always great to see the evil Victoria . . . finally, the Great Khali celebrates his newly-won WWE World Championship in grand Indian fashion, with him being regarded (according to this manager) as the greatest Indian ever — better than Ravi Shankar, M. Night Shamalan and even Mother Theresa. Pretty funny, really. Then Batista came down and spoiled the party, for no good reason other than to challenge the champ. In the old days, that would have made “The Animal” a heel. Nowadays? I guess it’s cool to be so “rebellious” right? Yawn. Onto ECW.
ECW - JULY 24, 2007
Gotta admit, and perhaps it’s just the throw-back, small-time feel of the production, but Mr. Mal’s favorite WWE-brand show is ECW. Honestly. I’m never disappointed by it. Those fans who don’t make this mandatory viewing every week are missing out. I mean, if for nothing else - check out the gorgeous Kelly Kelly? Check out these two pics! Need I say more?
Kelly Kelly - more than enough reason to always watch ECW
Okay, I shall! The former Johny Nitro (now John Morrison) sure looks like a champ. If he can hone his mic skills a wee bit more — he’s still very green on the stick, and needs to interact better with the crowd — he will be a real player in no time. Mr. Mal sees nothing but main events ahead for him in his future. Incidentally, he squashed a local wrestler looking for a title shot if they could last 15 minutes with the champ. He couldn’t. Unless 15 minutes is about 60 seconds long . . . Kevin Thorn, minus the vivacious Ariel (sniff, sniff) actually went out and jobbed to Stevie Richards. Yes, that Stevie Richards. Now, let Mr. Mal say right up front - I like Stevie Richards. I think he should win more. That being said, I think the last time he did win a match on TV, WCW may have still been in business, Paris Hilton was still an unknown, and Linsdsay Lohen was sober. Seriously. It’s been that long. Where does the Thorn character go from here? Repackagaing. He has a presence in the ring, but needs something new, no doubt . . .
Thorn loses to Stevie Richards, Mr. Mal predicts new gimmick-time
Moving on . . . The Miz enters the ring and tries to put himself over as the new “chick magnet” of ECW. Why they have all three members of Extreme Exposé supposedly in lust with him is a bit much, no? Then again, maybe its just Mr. Mal’s way of being jealous over Kelly Kelly showing some affection for this schmuck. That being said, Miz gets the honor of working with one of the best in-ring technicians around — Nunzio, also known as Little Guido — with The Miz getting the win with an impressive finisher. Still unpolished in the ring but looking better, Miz looks to be growing into this role. The true heel move at the end of the match, however, would have been to ditch Extreme Exposé instead of paying them back for last week’s segment 0f dirty-dancing with one of his own. He looked like a tool, really . . . the former Viscera — now Big Daddy V looks like an absolute monster heel (think an African-American One Man Gang circa his UWF-days) with main events ahead. How long he can work is debatable, but he looks like he’s dropped some weight and the gimmick, along with Matt Striker, is a good one. Here, he destroyed two jobbers half his size. Great old-school booking to get Big Daddy V over. Guess what? It did. The crowd oohed and ahhed in this one a lot . . . finally, in the main event, C.M. Punk and Tommy Dreamer beat Elijah Burke and John Morrisson, when Punk hit the GTS (Go to Sleep) on Burke. Mr. Mal is very high on Punk and Burke as well, and are two of the biggest reasons to watch this show week after week. Punk is way-over with the crowd, and Burke pulls-out a new move seemingly every week. Very entertaining match that saw Dreamer work hard and get a nice pop for his efforts. A fitting end to a decent evening of action, all-in-all . . .
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