Take five with our new Top Fives, starting with 80’s jobbers
The Troublemaker
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It could be just my need to constantly wax nostalgic, or maybe the old squash match really does have a place in any era of the squared circle. At any rate, the boys who ate canvas for a living over 300 days a year sure did earn this fan’s respect, if not admiration. For paydays as low as $20 bucks per night, grapplers like Rusty Brooks and Joe Mirto gave as much to the wrestling world in some ways as anybody. With their only performance bonus coming in the form of some pre-bell shtick, the men known inside the business as “jobbersâ€? certainly deserve their due. While I can’t serve justice to even a fraction of this group, I will award my personal Top Five list today on this very blog — a fine tribute as we kick-off our latest category here on WrestlersRamblings.com called Top Fives. My criteria is open ended to say the least; as these courageous men pop into my head they are being rated on a scale consisting of equal parts in-ring skill, charisma and pure humor value. Hey - whatever it took to get over, right!
TOP FIVE 80s WRESTLING JOBBERS
5. Mike Boyette – He of the record 197 consecutive losses back in the old UWF, Boyette makes my list for this and his overall pathetic appearance during the gimmick. I believe Jim Ross didn’t begin citing Boyette’s ineptitude until roughly defeat number 100. The streak then began to take on a life of its own as Boyette would record several near falls for weeks on end. Although the Verne Gagne trained product would enjoy a measure of success in the Gulf Coast region, in the Troublemaker’s mind he will remain the ultimate loser.
4. “Arrogantâ€? Otis Apollo – Any personal friend of mine who gets a chance to stare down “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair one-on-one is a shoe-in for this compilation. Plus, we also get to run this great shot again (right) of Apollo with an actual title belt over his shoulder, shot during his Border City Wrestling days. But his championship exploits are hardly the reason he made this list. It was for stuff like this, another Apollo memory worth rehashing - specifically a time when Jesse Ventura referred to Apollo as “Otis from Mayberry,â€? during a frightful beating on a Saturday morning addition of Superstars of Wrestling. Here’s to you Otis, and remember, I’ll always be the one who knows “whose lawn you’re mowing.â€?
3. Barry O – The younger brother of “Cowboy� Bob Orton was always the most imitated jobber at my grade school. Baring an uncanny resemblance to “The White Shadow’s,� Salami, my favorite Barry O memory revolves around an insult he hurled at Jesse Ventura during one of his bouts at the monthly MSG house shows. Never one to forgive a slight, “The Body� faced O the following month at the Garden and got the duke in a 10 minute bout that was surprisingly entertaining. Orton went on to have a great stint in Stampede as the masked Zodiac that I know Mr. Mal liked a great deal.
2. S.D Jones – Proclaiming that “today is going to be my day,â€? prior to his match with King Kong Bundy, Jones delivered an inspiring nine second performance in a losing cause at Wrestlemania I. As one of two jobbers on the bill – Matt Bourne of later Doink fame was the other – Jones set a record for losing faster than anyone else in WWE history (a record later broken by Uncle Elmer and Dynamite Kid in other matches). Surprisingly, enough further humiliation wasn’t far down the road for Jones as Terry Funk soon tortured the pride of Antigua with a white hot branding iron following another hard-luck loss. No job was too big (or too small) for ol’ S.D.
1. “Iron� Mike Sharpe – “Canada’s Greatest Athlete� was about as entertaining as it gets in the realm of the squash match. Loud, brash and one the few jobbers who always seemed to get a few licks in, Sharpe may have been on the cusp of stardom had he not injured his forearm so severely at the beginning of his career. That said he made the most of the hand he was dealt by using the protective leather band on his arm as a weapon to be used against his many baby-faced opponents.
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Honorable Mentions – Bob and Joe Marcus – For anyone who ever wondered whether or not they could get in the squared circle and . . . promptly get the crap beat out of them without ever getting the chance to fight back, the answer is affirmed in this sibling tandem. Unathletic, ugly (think of two short Kevin McHale’s) and incapable looking the least bit competitive, I honestly don’t think I ever saw either of these two scrubs execute an offensive maneuver. So how did they make this list? You’d have to see them for yourself. Trust me, they’d make your list, too . . .
Have a favorite jober you remember from days gone-by? Got a list you maybe want to share with us? Don’t be shy to join the fun, that’s what this site’s all about! Register now and start commenting! Thanks for visiting!
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