By Mr. Mal Occhio
Wrestlers Ramblings.com wrestling blog

Well, here we sit – the eve of Wrestlemania 23 at Ford Field in Detroit, MI. Mr. Mal can’t believe it’s here, as it seems like only yesterday that my near-hometown venue was announced as the home of this year’s biggest professional wrestling show. Both Mr. Mal and The Troublemaker will be there live, along with WrestlersRamblings.com pals Pimp Sugar and The Legendary PizzaSteve. Look for reports later on including photos. But for now? A few predictions as we wait for belltime . . .

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1. 20-MAN BATTLE ROYALE

- First up, word has it that Wrestlemania 23 will now feature this always-entertaining dark match. For those not in the know, a dark match is one that takes places before the actual event – and is not meant for broadcast. Hopefully they will still tape it and add it to the DVD release. Most times, professional wrestling leagues use a dark match to test lighting levels and other technical aspects, along with using it as a means of evaluating talent. Mr. Mal doesn’t think there’ll be much of the latter going on in this battle royale, but – as someone who will be there live – I welcome the additional bout that will surely feature many WWE Superstars that deserve to be on the card in some fashion. Not even the most-evil of eyes can predict who will be in this match (although the names Carlito, Ric Flair and the Boogeyman com to mind immediately) and as such, Mr. Mal cannot really predict anything here. Then again, if a winner is who you feel I must predict, I will say only this: the winner will be the last man standing in the middle of the ring after all the other combatants are thrown over the top rope.

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2. UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: “Crippler� Chris Benoit (champ) versus MVP

- Benoit has seemingly fallen completely off the WWE-map, even though he currently holds a title. He seems lost again, as has happened to him many times in his career. Mr. Mal sees MVP taking home the gold and increasing his push. As for Benoit? Time to spend some time on Raw and mix things up over there. He’s stale on Smackdown.

PICK: MVP

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3. THE GREAT KHALI VERSUS KANE

- Ugh. This one has all the makings of a horrible match, but the WWE has always enjoyed the battle of the big men. Mr. Mal has lived through many titanic tussles of this sort in the past (Andre the Giant versus Big John Studd; Andre the Giant versus King Kong Bundy; Giant Gonzales versus The Undertaker etc.) and surely I will muster the strength to get through this one. Hopefully Khali will be able to work a little and make it passable. Look for him to go over as well, as Kane is rumored to be taking some time off to heal some wounds after Wrestlemania.

PICK: THE GREAT KHALI

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4. WWE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH (LUMBERJILL RULES): Melina (champ) versus Ashley

- Look for Ashley to probably get the duke in this one, even though she has already garnered more-than enough publicity for her Playboy sales. The push is completely undeserved, she can’t work, and better workers such as Victoria and Mickie James suffer as a result. Melina has improved a great deal in-ring, and reportedly is being watched closely to evaluate her future standing with the company. Nonetheless, look for her to job.

PICK: ASHLEY

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5. BATTLE FOR ECW: ECW ORIGINALS (Rob Van Dam, Sandman, Sabu and Tommy Dreamer) versus THE NEW BREED (Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von and Kevin Thorn)

- Could be the sleeper hit of the card, with all four ECW originals having the capacity to tear it up (and bring the house down). The big question is whether or not they will be motivated to do so, as reports have Rob Van Dam and Sabu on the outs with the WWE. And not that they would have anyone to blame but themselves – but that’s another story. Burke continues to improve – and impress – as the weeks go on; Thorn and the lovely Ariel are personal favs of Mr. Mal and Cor Von (the former Montie Brown in TNA) looks good. Look for the New Breed to go over, with RVD laying down in front of 75,000 people on his way out the door. Book it.

PICK: THE NEW BREED

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6. MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH (Randy Orton/Edge/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/King Booker/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy/CM Punk)

- Action, action, action: Mr. Mal can’t wait for this one. Both Hardy’s excel in this environment, and CM Punk is a breakout star waiting to happen. This may be a match where he can shine. Finlay, too, is likewise right at home in this environment (he’s never been shy to avoid physicality) and Mr. Kennedy is – quite simply – the WWE’s next breakout star. Mr. Mal hopes the winner to be Mr. Kennedy, but feels Orton will probably be the one holding the case when all is said and done. On a side note, if Little Bastard can pull-off another Lepra-tan bomb on anyone (as he did on this past week’s Smackdown) the lid might come off Ford Field. Now THAT was hilarious!

PICK: RANDY ORTON

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7. BATTLE OF THE MILLIONAIRES: Umaga (with Vince McMahon) versus ECW Champion Bobby Lashley (with Donald Trump). Guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin

- Donald Trump will be shaved bald. There, I said it. I know everyone else thinks it will be McMahon shaving his dome, but the evil eye sees it the other way. I mean – how much longer can a grown man walk around with a lid like Trump’s and still take himself seriously? He’s either going for hair plugs (where you have to have the head shaved anyway, prior to the surgery) or he’s going for a Lex Luthor-look. Either way, that means Umaga besting Lashley, whose pre-Mania build-up (even with the McMahon pin this last Monday on Raw) has made him into the monster Mr. Mal always knew he could be. Here’s hoping the in-ring shave goes better than Brutus Beefcake shaving the late Adrian Adonis’ head in Wrestlemania III. The clippers didn’t work properly and fans were left feeling a tad jipped.

PICK: UMAGA

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8. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Batista versus The Undertaker

- Please God, let the Dead Man go over the bag ‘o’ veins known as Batista. Mr. Mal is not a fan of this would-be modern day Ultimate Warrior (sans make-up) and the sooner his push is derailed the better. That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania is coming to an end. He has always been good at putting guys over when the time is right, and something to me says this time feels right (to him, that is, and the company as a whole).

PICK: BATISTA

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9. WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: John Cena (champion) versus Shawn Michaels

- This one is truly a toughie to pick. On the one hand, a Michaels’ win could set-up a nice program with a returning HHH (provided one goes heel) that could make for a nice Summerslam match. Then again, Cena going over with the rub from Michaels would go a long way to further legitimizing him as a real champ, something many fans apparently are still having a problem with. Mr. Mal doesn’t understand it, really. Cena isn’t the greatest worker in the world, but he’s hardly the worst. He’s also highly-entertaining. Mr. Mal is going to pick Cena as the winner, setting up a program with Randy Orton later in the year.

PICK: JOHN CENA

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All photos copyright WrestlersRamblings.com, Mr. Mal Occhio and The Troublemaker. Use without prior permission is prohibited.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 31st, 2007 at 1:49 pm and is filed under Musings from Mal Occhio, WWE News and Views, PPV previews, Wrestlemania 23. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.