Ah, yes. The roar of the crowd, the smell of the popcorn, the sticky, soda-covered floor under your feet – there’s nothing quite like attending a live wrestling card. While Mr. Mal won’t bother rehashing the Troublemaker’s Tirade about not being able to see a lot of the action (despite being only nine rows from the ring) I will take you back to last night in my own way, back inside the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI, enjoying the show with my nephew Pimp Sugar -  his first live wrestling show - along with WrestlersRamblings’ columnist, The Troublemaker and everyone’s favorite - the Legendary PizzaSteve.

By Mr. Mal Occhio
WrestlersRamblings.com wrestling blog 

Sitting ringside just ain’t what it used to be, at least not at a TV taping. The rows were ridiculously-crammed together to maximize space, to the point that getting in and out of the row was pretty much impossible without having the entire row exit out into the aisle. Surely the fire code regulations were ignored over this stroke of genius set-up. Not that Mr. Mal gets up a lot during a show, but some people like to, oh, go to the bathroom, or maybe get a drink or something to eat at least once during a four-hour plus performance. Making it a complete nuisance to everyone trying to watch the wrestling (when all you want to do is get something for your nephew) smacks of poor planning and outright inadequate seating conditions.

SMACKDOWN SMATTERINGS: An intriguing newcomer named Ryan Wilson squashed Funaki for the night’s lid-lifter. Good size with decent in-ring work that he couples with some sort of “crazy-man tickâ€? where he continuously shakes his head and looks around confusingly. Good potential . . . Jaime Knoble deserves to not have his good momentum he has built in the Pit Bulls derailed by Kid Kash’s suspension. He’s a great worker that gets the gimmick over. Hopefully he won’t be buried if Kash’s absence prevents him from furthering his (and the gimmick’s) progress. Still looking for the name of his unknown “Japaneseâ€? masked opponent, however. Neat costume, but damned if I can remember his announced name . . . Mr. Kennedy is great. Very old school in both his character and performance. He should have a very nice WWE career all in all. One of the most-polished performers Mr. Mal has seen come on the WWE scene in many, many years . . . Seeing Simon Dean come down the ramp on the stupid scooter is pretty darn funny in person, I gotta say. Vito actually seems to be getting over with his guy-in-a-dress gimmick, too . . . Sylvan looks good and works decent, but Mr. Mal can never see this guy elevating himself from the mid-card. Booking him against retread Tatanka is probably as high as he will ever get . . . Mr. Mal thinks the WWE Diva contest is way better in person, you know what I mean, guys? . . William Regal and Fit Finlay really make Mr. Mal appreciate being a fan of wrestling. Not only can these two old pros still go like crazy, but they define the words “professional wrestlerâ€?. Finlay got over as a face with one interview and one match. That was it. And the crowd loved him and his partner in blarney, Little Bastard. Now, whether he can sustain it long-term (after all, he was forced into the role given all the recent “liver enzymesâ€? floating around the WWE lockerroom) is another question, but you have to respect a guy who can so easily control a crowd like that. And Regal? A definite top 10 fav of Mr. Mal – and why not? Straight from the old school of hard knocks (and stiff shots) Regal is a treat to watch each and every time out. There is nothing done without a reason by Regal, from his unparalleled facial expressions and in-ring psychology to trademark strong mat work, the WWE should thank their lucky stars they had two men the stature of Finlay and Regal on-board and on-roster when they needed a boost for the Smackdown brand. These two guys – if booked properly – could have a truly memorable run . . . Whatever the name of the pseudo-shoot fighter was (Tarkey?) that fought Matt Hardy is worth remembering. It’s a today gimmick that should work well . . . King Booker’s coronation was one for the ages. How funny is that guy in his new role? This entire gimmick is money. Good for Booker. He’s had a nice run in the business and deserved one more run at the top. Booking him with Mysterio makes for exciting matches, too. Rest assure, Mr. Mal paid the King his proper respect . . . Rey Mysterio is so-over as a face it is beyond description. Not only that, but the heat Chavo Guerrero generated from his run-in (following his costing Rey the title at this past weekend’s Bash PPV) was off-the-charts. Why, I hear that even a certain evil wrestling site editor (no names) marked-out enough that even he was seen yelling at the devious Chavo on his way back to the lockeroom. Great stuff.

ECW DOUBLETAKES: The Vampire and Ariel the Fortune Teller gimmick in ECW is major-league cool. Not only is the chick smokin’ hot (and Mr. Mal does mean smokin’ hot) but the Vampire himself can actually work and look the part as well. These two should do very nicely for themselves. Not one drop of blood, however (which was odd) but nonetheless, this was easily my ECW highlight of the night . . . Good crowd participation for the Balls Mahoney-Justin Credible match. The “Balls! Balls! Balls!� chants were coming through loud and clear on each series of punches, and Credible drew decent heat . . . Test is absolutely ripped now. Not that he was ever out of shape before, but now? He looks like a whole new wrestler, really . . . How the hell can you have an ECW card in Detroit and only have Sabu come in for a brief run-in, hit one Van-Daminator off the top rope and then leave? His uncle, the Original Sheik, put Detroit on the map, wrestling-wise, and Sabu wasn’t even allowed to soak in what would have amounted to a near hometown pop. Poor booking, all the way around . . . Big Show looks great as the ECW champ. Physically, he is as muscular as he has ever been. He hardly looks the part of a temporary champ until RVD’s eventual return, either. I would keep the strap on him for a while if I was booking ECW. And when he loses? Make it a screwjob. That man should never again job cleanly to anyone. He is an absolute monster.

DARK MATCH MUTTERINGS: Thank the wrestling gods that the Great Khali showed up after all, as part of the dark match main event when he teamed with Big Show to take on the Undertaker and Kane. Pimp Sugar warmed Mr. Mal’s heart before the show even started when I showed up to take him to the match – and the little guy made a sign to bring along to his first card (reminiscent of a young Mr. Mal who did something similar for his first card many, many years ago). The only problem was that Pimp Sugar ain’t exactly privy to the inside scoops like his Uncle Mal, who was well-aware Khali had been pulled from the road that week during the “liver enzyme� scandal currently plaguing the WWE, thereby putting the kibosh on the scheduled “No-Holds-Barred� match with the Undertaker. I don’t care that Khali only stood on the ring apron and then refused to tag into the match – it worked great, the crowd popped huge for his (and Taker’s) appearance and – most of all – Pimp Sugar got to proudly hold-up his sign: RIP KHALI!!

AND FINALLY: Security at the Joe Louis Arena last night was beyond ridiculous. Not only were signs confiscated at a regular rate, but chants with any profanity (even during freakin’ ECW) were silenced, no one was allowed to stand on any chairs (even when you couldn’t see over the people eight rows – and closer - from the ring insisted on standing for some reason) and cameras were carefully inspected – sometimes twice – to see if they adhered to the “80mm lens or less only� rule loudly broadcast over the sound system prior to entry into the building. Mr. Mal himself almost got into a “Loser Leaves Arena� match with one overzealous rent-a-cop during the final match of the show, after the flatfoot decided to start putting his hands on my camera. Why, I outta . . . Memo to the JLA staff: lighten up next time and enjoy the show. Everybody else was just trying to do the same.

photos copyright WrestlersRamblings.com and MR. MAL OCCHIO
-ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!!-

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 at 8:48 pm and is filed under Musings from Mal Occhio, WWE News and Views. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.